free agency

this is the summer, and everyone and their sister knows what that means: NBA offseason free agency.  if you are like me (and maybe if you arent, also) then you have been attentively watching all the wheelings and dealings of your favorite NBA teams and players.  i am happy for ‘sheed and shaq, who have new homes among Eastern powerhouses (celtics and cavs respect), as well as Ron Ron and L.O. who have made their way to LA.  likewise, i feel sorry for steve nash who re-signed with an aging and increasingly ineffective phoenix team in what will likely be a futile attempt to rekindle the 2005ish 7 seconds or less magic.



but despite the HUGE moves made by some of the already top notch teams, a lot of good players are still left on the market for teams willing to dish out seemingly chicken scratch.  but we are in a recession and some estimate that 2/3 of NBA teams are losing money right meow.  so players such as David Lee, Allen Iverson and Nate Robinson are without homes (while others, like Carlos Boozer, are being shopped for cheap with no takers).

this got me to thinking… lets pretend to be david lee.  i am 26 or 27, a decent 6’9 powerforward who is only going to get better in the next 3 years.  on top of that, i always played hard and unselfishly on some of the most terrible and mind-fucked teams in the history of professional sports.  i have a reputation as a guy who over acheives, doesnt necessarily have the most skill or athleticism but gets the most out of what he has where most players in the NBA cruise on their talent.  although my stats may have been inflated because i was on a crappy team that played at a break-neck pace, theres no doubt that i have some good qualities that could be useful to any team in the NBA, yet i have no suitors.  what would i do?



man, when life hands you lemons say fuck lemons!  i would call up the 4 best teams in the league and say “how do you like the idea of me playing on your team, riding the bench, never seeing playing time except when im needed, but working hard every day, filling in when someone gets hurt, pushing my teammates to practice hard and play hard and the whole time i will not complain about my stats or playing time or anything.  on top of that i will ask for whatever meager salary you can give me.  i dont care if its the league minimum.  i want to play for someone who is thankful to have me, rather than the opposite.  and when i win a ring with you guys i will get it fitted for my middle finger because fuck the other 31 teams.”

i mean, is one season at the league minimum (which is still hundreds of thousands of dollars) really all that bad?  besides there is a good chance you would get a ring and increase your value tremendously for the upcoming offseasons (assuming you sign a 1 year or 2 years deal). i would be personally offended by the lack of an offer and i would be PISSED.  and theres no doubt that anger would be cemented by signing for the league minimum, which would remind me every day to work hard to get back at everyone that turned me down.



on the flip side, if you are the spurs or celtics or cavs or lakers, or hell even the trailblazers nuggets and magic, wouldnt this be a huge blessing?  you get a guy committed to getting his revenge, willing to swallow his pride and work hard to make your team better.  plus, the older teams (and im looking at you spurs and celtics) could use the added depth.  other teams like cleveland and blazers and nuggets could afford some more frontcourt.  im just saying.  a man on a warpath.  it would be awesome to see, and wouldnt it instantly make you a david lee fan?


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